Girls are Bitches

Guys can be douche bags but I’m not going to lie.  Some guys can really do better.

Then again, those guys may be too blind or whipped to do something about it.

T’is the season to be loving

I love you and I hope you never find out (me and my big mouth).

December

A month that kinda makes me dislike being single.

One day, just one day, I will walk around in winter attire with a boy in “the city” (most likely San Francisco since I’m too poor for New York), go see the massive Christmas tree in the square, and go cuddle at home with some hot cocoa+marshmallows and movies till we KO.

… I think the media is getting to me.

Not “Emo” Right Now

Dear Tumblr,

Despite my seemingly depressed posts, I am not feeling depressed.  How am I feeling?  Stressed, cold, and HUNGRY.  I’m wanting all sorts of crap right now:

* chocolate chip cookies
* macaroni and cheese
* pastrami sandwich
* cow tongue burrito
* chow fun
* ramen
* Bagel w/ cream cheese, lox, and capers
* croissants

Shoooooooooooooot.

Accidents and Illnesses

Sometimes I wonder if I were to get into an accident or fall ill enough to be sent to a hospital, who would call, come visit, or send flowers.  I do not predict very many.  If I become terminally ill, how many people would say, “My friend has cancer”… Probably more than I would consider as friends.  I would probably be considered a “friend” to more people after life than during.

I think this bipolar weather is sparking interesting thoughts.

A lot of times, I admit whenever I fuck up (the kitchen people at work can vouch for that).  After the apologizing and understanding is over with, I go la la la with the rest of my day, especially if the situation was not anything monumental.  What gets to me, though, is getting in poopdeedoo for something I did not know about.  That kind of stuff flashes me back to the days where I’d take the fall for everything me AND my brother did (being the older sister, you know better etc etc etc…).  It’s quite tiring.  Feeling frustrated when waking up is a sign I need to vent to beloved Tumblr.  It’s okay.  After this post, I’ll feel as good as if I kicked someone in the nads.

Friends?

I have a decent number of acquaintances but very few “friends.”  I admit I use the term friend loosely, referring to someone I am have good relations with and we actually keep in contact.  As for “friends,” I think I have enough to assign to each finger I have.  Sometimes I wish I had more friends to hang out with, have long conversations with, whether they be bullshit or meaningful subjects, lend me an ear (and visa versa), and simply being my companion.  Uhm, I guess by “companion,” I mean being able to have comfortable silences or being in each other’s presence while doing our own thing — just simply… being physically there.  There are some people I try to keep in touch with and open up to but there isn’t really the reciprocation.  I can see us having a falling out when I quit my current job and leaving UCI.  It’s okay, I guess.  Everyone’s busy with their own separate lives and “friends.”  At least the “friends” I have now are of quality.  I wish there were more people in the world like them.

So…

I’m having a difficult time loving myself.